I am currently passing through a so called ‘in between space’, if you recall the expression from one of my past posts, doing a shift in my life to another stage. This one seems to be more complex, deeper, and in a way bigger than some others. However, I am preparing for it for few years now, and this year things are finally realising. I have a strong inner feeling that everything, including me, finally, is ready to really do it, to go for it fully. And still I can notice here and there some questioning thoughts, feelings, and fears. Either in myself, or reflecting from other people. I guess it is just a final check in a sense ‘Ready, babe?’, or maybe it is still some clearing, healing, and peeling process of the old and outgrown going on. Anyway, the ‘Trust’ issue comes out as the answer, again and again.
I usually put myself all into the new project, new role, new task, etc., and I am willing to do my part completely to learn as fast as possible, to master it, and to succeed in what I want to achieve from it. It was and in a way still is the same ‘strategy and procedure’ with this current transition I am doing. But to make it even more challenging, I have noticed how very creative I was (still am, occasionally) during this process in finding possible obstacles, possible challenges, and possible additional skills and knowledge that I should already master or at least further develop. And looking back, it seems that I was ‘over-all’ in, to be prepared for something that might or might not happen at all. It was not the easiest process of transformation on its own, but I made it even harder for myself. Maybe to prove myself and possibly to others, close to me, that I can do it, that I am worth it, that I am good enough, that I have to do it, and can not prolong it anymore, etc. I have created this story of my ‘big’ transformation and transition, and because it was ‘so big’, I had to do it really thoroughly.
I mean, really, how much of trust is there, if I am trying to control the shift how it should unfold and how the outcome should happen, and how much energy do I use to make my challenge ‘big enough’ to be worth to do the change I wish to do?
Being coached through this process I have realised that it is enough to be ‘just’ all in – to be committed, to trust myself, my skills and ability to meet with challenges as they come along, to take it one day at a time, to be present, open to learn, and willing to co-create. And the next day you repeat.
I still have some ‘weak’ moments, when I get lost in my thoughts. I had one quite recently actually. They usually happen when I am not taking proper care of myself and not paying enough attention to my energy flow. This last one was due to similar circumstances. That day I felt exhausted, and I was not all energetic and optimistic as usual, and I was not feeling very passionate about my new life that I am creating right now. And than there was a moment when I hit the tipping point. Instantly I just heard inside me ‘Finally. What took you so long?!’ It was a point when I let it drop and melt what needed to be dropped and melted down at that moment. And than I faced with what is that I am trying to hide or overlay in these kind of ‘over-all’ moments and periods. It is my creative energy, my inner power, and my shine. And what I can create with, when being fully exposed, and to use my energy in the best possible way.
So, Be All In. One Day at a time. Do Shine Fully and Create Amazingly.